By Melissa Cox
Subtle white rings above her cheekbones. Lines from the corner of her eyes. Flushed “chipmunk” cheeks.
A deep crease down the middle of her forehead. Puffiness underneath her eyes. Lines from her lips that extend across her face when she smiles.
A pouch of “chubbiness” where her belt line crosses. Arms with “flab” hanging when she lifts them. Curvy thighs and varicose veins in her legs.
What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see what you perceive as flaws? Do you see only what you feel are imperfections?
I think we often view the person looking back at us as anything but beautiful.
“I look chubby in these pants.”
“My face looks fat in this photograph.”
“My arms look terrible in that dress.”
“I don’t like that line on my forehead.”
“These wrinkles make me look older than my age.”
“This color washes out my face.”
What we don’t see is the true beauty of who we are.
The rings above her cheekbones are from staying up late to care for a loved one. The lines from the corner of her eyes are from years of laughter and making others laugh. The flushed cheeks indicate she has started eating healthy after struggling with an eating disorder for years.
The crease in her forehead is from being a mom, a caregiver, a wife, a friend, an aunt, a daughter, a career woman, and the worries that come with each role she takes on. The puffiness is because she cried today with a friend who lost someone dear.
The lines that extend from her lips are from the joy life has given her — the silliness she likes to add to her days, the songs she sings in the car with her kids, the stories she tells to family, and the love that surrounds her.
The pouch is from the emergency C-section during the birth of her first child. She hasn’t been able to get those muscles to tighten even though she has tried everything from Zumba to yoga.
She is the only one that seems to notice the “flab” in her arms, the same arms that provide hugs to loved ones when they are down. No one else focuses on her varicose veins or thighs that demonstrate the strength she has developed after incorporating running into her life.
She is a bit hard on herself at times. She often doesn’t see the beauty that others see in her.
It’s true that we can be our own worst critics.
These are all women that I know. And many times it is me, not liking the image of myself. Not seeing the good.
We may overdo it at the gym so we can fit into a different image. Or maybe we don’t eat enough because we don’t like the person staring back at us.
These are beautiful women in my life who don’t see the good about them. And there’s so much good.
The way you laugh when someone shares stories with you. The way you love truly and completely. The way you care with all of your heart. The way you put others first. The way you are always thinking of others.
We can be too hard on ourselves. Being happy is what matters.
Try and remember each day when you look into the mirror, the person looking back at you has loved, laughed, created, shared, cared, hoped, fallen, stood strong, cried, felt joy, struggled, overcame.
You are somebody.
You matter.
It’s not how you look in your clothes. It’s about how you love and give.
It isn’t about being someone you are not. It’s about accepting and embracing who you are and loving the person you are. It’s about being the best person that you can be. It’s knowing that you have made a real impact in the world.
And it’s recognizing beauty in the true reflection of your mirror image.
This was published in the Hibbing Daily Tribune.
Range of Character 